Among the things I have run across while packing: a McSweeney’s style list from when I worked in the call center for Princess Cruises & Tours.

Comments we would like to make to someone who wants to go to Alaska on a ship which spends the summer in the Mediterranean

“I bet you do.”

“You may find Alaska a little different this year. You know, global warming, they’ve done some landscaping.”

“Don’t be surprised if you find Alaskans don’t speak English.”

“Eskimos look a lot like Italians. Very fond of scooters.”

“Good luck with that.”